the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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