Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry about my life...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
