Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize