it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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