dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
