Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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