You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
