hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
