I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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