We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
