Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
