Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Help. Why am I so naked?
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