nut hugger
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
