my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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