he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
