THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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