i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I cannot find my penis.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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