He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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