Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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