do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
