Me. At least after what I've been through.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize