Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
