I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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