i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Randomize
