I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Life is so much better after having sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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