Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
