i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize