"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize