Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
