I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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