My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
