The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
