Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
