he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
