so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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