what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
