she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
