I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
