So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
