I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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