It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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