i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
