You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
