dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
