She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize