i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
