I could have mohawked her pubes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
