I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
