Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
