I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
