you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
