return my video game
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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