If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
