I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
