That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
