No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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