Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
