Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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