If you die in college, do you die in real life?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
