Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
