new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
