I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
