i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
