It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
