My nipple is on Facebook.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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