Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
