Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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